Trust

Can you trust someone else if you can't trust yourself?
Have you ever had doubts about entering into a relationship?
Not just a romantic one, even a simple friendship.
Trusting someone with the very things that can be used to tear your soul apart.
What do you share?
What do you keep locked up tight?
How do you silence that voice in your head telling you to run or even just simply questioning the situation?
This is the thing.
Do not silence that voice.
Not ever.
If it is a screaming warning or even a wondering whisper, always listen to it. 
I realized I had a tendency to ignore the whispers and I was able to suppress them even if they turned into blood curdling screams clawing at my brain to wake my feet up and run.
I will not silence the voice in my head.
I will not silence my voice.
That gut feeling of being unsure and uneasy is a whisper that could save your sanity.
Listen to it.
And if others can hear the whispers you are attempting to silence then trust that they are really screams and you are just deaf to the voices screaming in your head.
Run.
Run and never look back.
One day there will be this amazing calm, not a whisper or even a hiccup to be heard.
It will feel safe and amazing.
There won't be questions in your mind.
There won't be an uneasiness in your gut.
There will be this amazing sense of peacefulness.
A surprising calm in the wonderful chaos that is life.
It is hard to describe this feeling, it is almost unrecognizable.
It is almost easier to describe what it isn't.
It isn't that horrible queasy feeling.
It isn't that gut wrenching feeling.
It isn't the feeling of uneasiness.
It isn't that soul crushing feeling of brokenness.
It isn't the heart wrenching feeling of betrayal.
This calm of sweetly, of true trust seems so unnatural for me.
What will I do without the pain and betrayal?
Maybe I will just be happy.
Yes, I think that would be nice.
Trust yourself first and see what can happen.